Let’s Talk About Blowjobs Baby

Nehal Aggarwal on 4-Play, a Monthly Sex Panel at Creative Alliance

What are some tips for someone who has never given head before? How do you give a successful blowjob to someone with erectile dysfunction? I want to hear more about guys giving head to a woman with a strap-on. How awesome is that??!

These were simply three of questions asked at the Creative Alliance’s monthly panel called 4-Play. Each month the nonprofit art center, located in Patterson Park, hosts a panel in which two comedians and two sex experts join together to discuss… what else? Sex. They discuss a different topic at each panel, and this time the topic was fellatio.

The space used for the panel was a very small, old stage with four chairs set up behind four mikes. The lighting was so dim it was hard to see as we found our way to the back row – we were too chicken to sit up front. The audience was mostly comprised of people in their mid-20s to late 30s, each heading to the bar one by one. For the most part it seemed like everyone was there for the same reason I was: to find out what a sex panel is exactly.

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There was an audibly nervous hum in the air as the evening started off with the producer of 4-Play, Ti Coleman, talking to the audience about his first experience receiving a blowjob. His story was interjected with laughter and cringes from the audience, all with a drink in hand by this point. We were then introduced to the panel of two comedians, Prescott Gaylord and Rasheed Green, and two sex experts, Jacq Jones and Dale Cooper. Jacq is the owner of Hampden’s very own sex shop, Sugar, and Dale is working in the adult entertainment industry as a gay porn star.

Following hilarious, but brief introductions, the panel launched into the first thing on the agenda: sex news. Apparently some couple in Vegas was caught having sex in a 40-pod Ferris wheel while smoking weed. After launching into a debate about whether or not there were remnants of the “sexing” left behind in the pod, and whether sitting in that pod, post-sexing, was more or less sanitary than walking around Vegas barefoot, the panel launched into their discussion topic of the night: deep-throating.

They discussed what the appeal of deep throating was and how porn can sometimes misrepresent what a blowjob should be about. They discussed the intimacy level involved in giving someone fellatio, which most people often forget about. The discussion was education in not only the logistics of giving someone a successful blowjob, but also in understand how a blowjob can vary greatly from person to person based on their individual comfort level and sexuality, a fact that sounds obvious but is most forgotten when people are romping in the sack with a potential new partner or hook-up.

While I expected to feel nervous and awkward to be discussing such private things in public, I only felt safe and comfortable, knowing that I was in a judgment-free space. From the lack of nervous laughter in the audience by this point, I felt that most people in the room felt the same level of security.

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The Patterson Theatre

A brief intermission was given to the audience to refill their drinks and the second act was opened by three members of the audience, all of whom got up on stage and told the stories of their first encounters with giving head. The stories ranged from experimenting in high school to getting head through a car window (almost) to not understanding what male ejaculation was.

In some way or another, pretty much everyone in the crowd could relate to the hilarity and awkwardness that went into their first mouth-to-penis encounter. The panel ended by answering questions the audience had previously written and put in a fishbowl. The common trend was that most people in the audience were looking for “how-to’s,” which is not something anyone can certainly say. People can say “something that works for me is” or “maybe try this,” but for the most part the panel agreed that bettering a sexual encounter could only really be done with communication and trial-and-error. Sometimes you really do just have to talk about sex.

Author Nehal Aggarwal is a voracious coffee drinker, always on the lookout for the next big adventure or art show.

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